30. Unanswered

Chapter theme: The Fray-Unsaid

And not to say a thing tonight but suffice it to say, you're leaving things unsaid

We sing ourselves to sleep/Watching the day lie down instead

Jacob felt tingly.

He always did after a hunt, and most nights he’d be after a good run like Seth, Colin and Brady but right now, all he wanted to do was to get home.

To Bella.

The scent of damp earth and greens erupted in the air as he pawed the ground and in a small part of his mind, his pack whispered in and out. Sam was making his way to Emily’s while Jared was itching to get to Kim. Jacob’s muzzle pulled back in a smile when he realized that Embry was actually thinking about their ledgers, Paul was thinking about food and Quil was still spitting and gagging over the taste of vampire.

God, they don’t taste any better, he griped in their minds.

They heard Colin sighed in the far distance, they gave up way too easily, there’s no charge anymore. No excitement.

A spatter of laughter rippled in their minds, did you see the look on the blond one’s face? It was like we were his nightmare came to life. Paul chortled and supplied them with the image of said vampire blonde’s face.

Jacob let them laugh and discuss the hunt, let them ride the high but he was busy with his own thoughts.

Somewhere between tearing one vampire after another, it dawned on him that for the last couple of years, Bella lived a normal life.

No vampires, no werewolves, nor any other kind of mythical creature but some critters she found in some deep, dark corner of her café.

She led a normal life, an ordinary life where her problems started and ended with her café and fending off her mother’s worries but now, here she was again, playing in the dark and rushing off somewhere because it wasn’t safe.

He felt a twinge of guilt over that.

Tonight, he was a bit more vicious than usual because he had something really important that he wanted to protect. Most nights, he just wanted to kill as many vampires as he could find but tonight, realizing that Bella was out in the open, fear threaded with the thrill of the hunt and made his claws faster, his canines sharper.

No vampire was going to get Bella, not while he was around. He guessed the best thing to do was for him to leave Bella to her normal life and not drag her back into his action packed one but… he couldn’t be sure that he could ever be so…magnanimous.

He had the right to be a little selfish, hadn’t he? And it wasn’t like Bella didn’t want to be in his life, right?

He smiled as he remembered how she had look tonight, weak and breathless from laughter, her cheeks pink with excitement and the cold. Looking at her, laughing herself silly as she lied there in the grass, unconcerned, unafraid, he couldn’t help but think how she suited him, how she suited his life. It reminded him of her surprising rebellious attitude that reared its stubborn head every once in a while.

Bella broke easily, sure, he rolled his eyes remembering their numerous visits to the ER, but that never stopped her from doing anything she wanted, like hang around vampires and werewolves and ride motorcycles.

Bella Swan of the somber eyes, the too serious expression and tentative smiles.

God, how he loved her.

He stopped to phase and dress, Jared, Quil and Embry followed.

“Race you to your house.” Quil slapped Jacob’s shoulders and hooted. “Last one to the house is a rotten werewolf.”

Embry sniggered. “A rotten werewolf? Geez.” But he took off after Quil like a bullet. Jacob sighed. “How old are you guys, again?”

Embry responded with shouldering Quil out of the way but both protested when Jared sailed smoothly between them.

“Do you really want to get between me and Kim?” Jared eyed both Embry and Quil who immediately stood aside making mocking fearful noises.

“Imprinted wolves are the worse.” Embry complained.

Quil rolled his eyes at him. “Wait your turn and you’ll see.”

“Move away, you two. Alpha passing through.” Jacob shoved them out of his way.

“I cannot believe you played the Alpha card on us, dude.” Quil bitched but slowed his run. “I gotta go anyway.”

“Gonna check on, Claire?”

Quil shrugged his broad shoulders and pointed two thumbs at his chest. “Imprinted.” He said shortly before breaking off to the right with a short wave.

Jacob ran in silence before sliding a look at Embry. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Embry eyed him. “Quil’s right, you know. There’s a chance that we’ll all imprint.”

Jacob remained silent but scowled at his friend.

“I’m just saying.”

The mention of imprinting only made him more anxious to get home and when the woods opened up and showed him the soft, warm glow of his house, his heart twisted.

The minute he saw Rachel and Leah’s face, he knew something was wrong. When he saw the guilty expression on Kim’s, he was certain of it but before he could say anything, the door opened and his heart jumped up to his throat.

Something clawed inside himself when Bella shuffled out to the back porch and joined the other girls as if she had done it a million times before.

Her eyes searched the darkness and he knew she was searching for him. He struggled against the painful throb in his chest when Bella took two steps forward and focused her eyes on him.

Dawn streaked the sky but it was still dark to her human eyes when he could see her as clear as day, and his heart stuttered as it struck him forcefully that Bella was right in front of him.

She was in his back porch, waiting for him.

Later he would remember that her eyes were red, that she was holding herself funny as if something hurt inside but right then and there, he was overwhelmed by the look of her, by how her lips curved as she smiled at him. He was staggered that when he reached her, she looked him straight in the eyes and whispered, ‘welcome home’.

His tongue stuck in his throat and his knees felt weak with the jumbled emotions that warred inside him.

Bella was really here, she was home, she was safe and after all this time, she still loved him.

He knew his reaction was stupid and irrational since he knew all of this already but…it was as if his brain was only now able to process it.

Speechless, Jacob could only respond with touching the tips of his fingers against the soft curve of her cheek but something in the way she turned her face into his palm, in the way she leaned perceivably closer made him gather her close and pulled her into his arms. The angles and dips of their bodies locking against each other like two pieces of puzzle. Her cheek on his chest, his arms around her shoulders, palms pressed on the space between her shoulder blades.

And she clung to him, her arms went around his waist in a somewhat desperate, almost fierce motion, her palms fluttered on his naked back like fragile wings.

He could tell himself it had something to do with what he was thinking before, that she was no longer used to the danger and that she was only worried for him but he spotted the looks between Rachel, Leah and Kim.

He brushed a hand along Bella’s hair and spoke softly into her ear. “Let me clean up and change and I’ll take you home.”

She nodded against his chest and with what looked like great effort, pulled herself away.

Pushing against the sudden panic that skittered up and down his spine at the way she cradled her arms around herself, he sent a look to the three other girls and walked inside.

He’ll talk to them later.

They had to wait for Seth to arrive with his car and Jake couldn’t help but notice the distance she took from the girls, the way she stuck to his side, the little flicks of glances that she sent him.

But the ride back to Charlie’s house was silent though filled with unanswered questions. He wanted very much to launch into interrogation mode but the thoughtful look on her face, the way her fingers played with her bracelet told him that she was still mulling things over inside her head. He knew that she’d tell him sooner or later.

She always did. Eventually.

Besides, he could guess what it was that the girls told her and it was his own fault really, they’ve been pressuring him to talk to Bella, to tell her but really, how could he?

It’d be like he was begging for sympathy, emotionally black mailing her to be with him and that was just something he wouldn’t do. At least, not right now, he amended when he remembered a particular scene in their past, of adrenalin pumping under his skin and of challenging words and hard open mouth kisses.

He wasn’t that desperate. Yet.

He looked at her when Bella reached out for his hand and gripped it tightly, not letting go.

In the darkness of the car, he could see the uncertainty bloomed inside her brown eyes when he parked in the driveway behind Charlie’s truck.

And she still hadn’t let go of his hand.

“Bella, honey?”

She blinked at him and finally let go of his hand. One finger at a time. “Right. Well, I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Their eyes met and hers focused on his intensely before sliding away. He solved that problem by putting his fingers on her chin and pulling at it gently until she looked his way. “Do you want to see me tomorrow?”

“Of course.”

He smiled at the slightly surprise matter-of-fact tone in her voice and leaned over to give her a kiss that stretched to two then three. His heart inflated inside his chest when she sighed into his mouth and held his face between her palms. “I’ve missed you, Jake.” She murmured against his lips. “I’ve missed you so much.”

Then his heart simply exploded when her hands slid over his shoulders and around him, tucking her face against his neck and held him tighter, closer.

Worry niggled at the back of his mind but he kissed her temple, rubbed her back.

“Jake.” Her breath was warm on his neck. “Will you stay?”

Jacob knew there was more to the question than the simple word for word meaning, but he answered in kind. “Of course.”

So, Jacob followed Bella inside and up to her bedroom. He took off his long sleeved jersey—leaving him in a pristine white T shirt and jeans—toed off his shoes and bundled his socks into it and got into bed. When Bella got out of her bathroom—her face washed, her tooth brushed and changed into jammies--she slipped beside him and under the covers.

Without hesitation, she shuffled closer to him and curved herself against his side, her arms gripping tightly the soft material of his T shirt. Jacob couldn’t ignore the way she closed her eyes tightly and the little wrinkles forming on her forehead.

“Bells—“

She pressed her face against his chest, “Sleep.”

He brushed her hair away from her face, his fingers soothing the wrinkles on her forehead. “All right. Go to sleep, honey. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Her arms tightened around him, her legs tangled with his and her breath evened out.

Jacob lied awake until the sun set the sky ablaze.